Saturday, October 1, 2016

"When someone cries, it's not usually over one thing.
It's built up anger and emotions that is been holding in for too long"

I don't know where to begin but a simple hello would do. Hello there. I miss writing in this blog so much, to be honest. I have been focusing myself with a lot of assignments, classes, and work. I have to admit that sometimes I don't even have time for myself and my blog. But I love it here. I can write what ever the hell I want, what ever things that I want to say or just a simple thought.

Things have changed in my life, to be honest guys. With just a simple click, everything's changed. Some are for the best and some are not. First of all, let's talk about college life. College life for me has been very brutal, I must say. I have so many assignments that needed to pass up, so many things that I need to adapt and I have presentations every single week. I don't mind for presentation, to be honest. I love presenting actually. I love sharing new things to people. I love telling them. But I dislike essays. That is my worst nightmares. Although, I love writing, but essays are different from that. LOL. Friends wise? Friends are good. They all care for one another. If you're happy, they'll be happy with you and if you're sad, they're always gonna be there for you. I sometimes in class, I keep my mouth shut. I don't know why. Maybe I still need to get used to college, new life, new friends. I don't know. I'll get used to it, one day, InsyaAllah.

So, I broke up with Aideel. No, I am not sad or vise versa. I'm just not happy with the relationship that we had. He did nothing wrong to me actually. It is just me that wasn't happy with what we had in the past and for myself. I asked myself a while back. "Am I doing the right thing?" "Am I happy?" and to be honest guys, I am not actually. I didn't cry or anything. We had our darkest moments back then, we had so many fights, I cried a lot and the rest are history. I even asked myself "Why didn't I cried?" and the answer is I am tired of crying. I am tired of being unhappy and hoping things are going to be ok soon. We still talk every once in a while. We still talk like we're friends. And I think it's ok, you know.

This week was a very tiring week for me. I worked for 4 days straight, everyday after class. It wasn't fun at all. I didn't get enough of sleep or even rest. And now I am sick. Very sick actually, guys. Yesterday after work was the worst. I looked so tired at work yesterday, even my friends said so. And then, I texted my mom saying that I'm having a very strong headache. It was not fun at all, guys. I cannot open my eyes properly because I am feeling so weak. My throat hurts a lot and my body feel so tired. My friend, Alistair replied to my Instagram story on Thursday telling me that "Assignments are important so does rest. Take care, Thahirah". Thank you, Alistair.

"Allah is Al -Jabbar. Meaning He can fix anything that's broken.
No matter how broken it is, He can put it back together. You can be shattered into pieces
through your life problems. Rely on the Al- Jabbar to fix it no matter how impossible you think"

I am not happy with my life right now. I am hoping for something that would never happen. I am waiting/hoping for someone to reply but I know that it will never happen. You know when someone texted you and you replied but he/she never reply back, I am currently in that situation. At least, tell me something or even tell me that you don't want to be friends with me anymore or even tell me what's going on or just tell me that you don't want to text me anymore. Don't keep on making me hanging, waiting or even wondering of what's going on. I think it's not nice to do that to people, you know. If you dislike someone so much, then just tell them straight to their face, don't make them wondering or even waiting for you. I don't know what to do, but I'll always know and remember that Allah can fix everything.

Yours truly


Nur Nadrah Nadzri said...

hey thahirah, its me nadrah. still remember? i saw your post in twitter haritu and i read it. i know you're strong thahirah. focus on something that can make u more happy. i know u since form 2 but tak rapat sangat hehe. maybe theres someone better that u will be deserve, good luck on your future thahirah and take a good care xo -Nadrah

Nur Thahirah said...

Thank you so much, Nadrah :-) this truly made my day x