SOME THINGS THAT NEED TO SPEAK UP

I'm sure that was the happiest day of my life. No dramas. No lies. No everything. But just surrounded myself with my family. When I was about 5/6, I had a best friend, her name is Farah. We were so close. We love Barbie. Her mom and my mom are friends. But when our days in kindergarten

flew by, we still talk and it was amazing. I think that was the first real friend I have ever had. I wonder, how is she doing right now. Where she is? Where she live? Doesn't matter where she is, I just hope that she's doing perfectly fine.

I am actually hesitate to write down this kind of post but I just wanna let go of myself. Just be free of what I'm writing and telling you guys. I'm telling myself that what if I post this kind of post and it makes me even much more better than I used to. What if? I think this time, I'm just gonna go for it. I'm going to tell you guys a little bit more about myself. Maybe you guys will know about me a lot more. I hope.

To be honest, I don't even know where to start.

Let's start here. 2015 was a challenging year for me. That year was brutal for me. I was not in a wonderful mood last year. I tried and tried and tried and tried but I failed. I learned a lot too. Friends were amazing in 2014 but it was bad in 2015. I struggle a lot. I prayed & prayed. The thing is actually, people don't always support me . Like for example, if I ever tweet on Twitter or didn't get so many likes on social media, it felt horrible. I don't crave for getting so many likes on Instagram or people commenting on my social platforms. I don't crave for that actually. It's not that I want attention or anything. It's just, why can't I feel like important once in a while. For example, I love makeup so much! I love doing people's makeup or even on my own. I could talk all day about makeup. I'm not even joking. I love fashion so much too. It's like whenever I wear something amazing, I feel amazing. I feel like I have this energy to just keep me going without hesitating. Beauty and fashion are just what I love, and I love it both very much.

But when I posted something, well actually anything about beauty or fashion, I didn't get so many likes. People will never comment anything of what I love. I know that you guys will be thinking that 'what the hell is wrong with this girl (me)'. That's just how I feel. If I didn't get so many likes or comments, anything or even tweets or anything. I just delete that beauty/fashion photos of mine because people don't seem to like it. And sometimes it makes me feel horrible inside of me. Doesn't matter if you're a friend of mine or just a stranger. People don't seem to like it. And sometimes it makes me want to stop using any social platforms and just live in my own cocoon. It hurts a lot.

People seem to love and support if others making a YouTube videos or even start their own Blog. People seem to love everyone else doing what they love and they support them, but they don't love or even support of what I love. Sometimes when I posted a video on Instagram, me singing. I didn't get so many likes or comments from people. From my friends. And sometimes I wonder if they don't like me or anything. I don't want to be famous. I just want to share everything, you know, with people.

2016

2016 is going to be a year that I want a change in my life. I just want to stop caring so much about people and just do my own stuff. I love what I'm doing very much and I'm not going to stop this. I know that people will support some people if they making a YouTube videos or a Blog. I know that. I know that people won't or maybe never will support me. But I'm not going to stop of making what I love. Who knows, maybe there will be people who actually supports me. That's my number one goal.